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If I were a real mommyblogger, this post would be a cheerleadery "you can do it too!" account of how I finally learned to manage these multiple birthdays hitting suddenly all at once -- I bought myself a big box of assorted birthday cards and a stash of emergency presents for those days when I ask the kids, "well, what does Kid A like?" and they answer, "I dunno" (or "Power Rangers!" and I have a feeling the kid in question probably owns all the Power Rangers and then some).

Also if I were a real mommyblogger, I would write up a whole second post about the conversation this weekend that revealed that a) many people are having the same anxiety about packing lunches for all eternity for the rest of the school year that I am, and b) I am already ahead of the curve when suggesting "pancakes and waffles" is a Big Idea for other folks. This is, oddly, not reassuring. I chalk up my apparent expertise to "coping with a picky eater." Oh, April, my ravenous but selective child, why can I not convince you to eat cheese? Or salami? Or yogurt? Or noodles with stuff on them? Or soup? Or salad? Or eggs? Or peanut butter? Or for God's sake, chocolate?

I cannot, however, figure out how a mommyblogger might address my other big anxiety to-do item. In a month, the kids turn five. At that point, they no longer get to ride public transit for free. I have to get them their very own Clipper card, and that process looks like a bureaucratic hoop and a half.


I pretty much think moms like you are amazing for all you do to ensure your kids' comfort and happiness as they grow. I just went to a 2-year-old's birthday party at which there was an actual pony, with pony rides. And the mom (a good friend) was worried that this wouldn't be enough! Whenever I have a kid, I will be lucky enough to just get a cake on site, much less provide for entertainment for a host of little kids.

I recently ordered a Clipper card and it was pretty easy. The requirements for a youth card seem a little ridiculous, you'd think they'd automate that shit.

One of the parties I went to this weekend really was little more than pizza and cake, plus free entry to Fairyland. It was great! And I finally figured out that the most OTT backyard party-thrower I know used to be an instructor at Lawrence Hall of Science, so she has an excuse. A real pony! You don't even need cake after that!

Wait, you went to fairyland without dozens of years passing in our world?
thank you for not being a mommyblogger
Ah, but you know someone who works for Clipper and will help you. PM me and we'll get it done, you don't even have to leave the house if you can scan their birth certs.

Oooh! Except that I think the hoops are actually AC Transit's fault, and don't they want a specific card with photo?
Can't you lie about their age(s)?
I think I am going to find this hard to do when I'm taking the bus to school every day. And anyway it just delays the inevitable.