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reading tiger

Two Not Entirely Unrelated Things

1. My children informed me this morning of "The Halloween Witch," who is really real. Apparently, you leave candy on your front porch and the Halloween Witch comes and takes it and leaves a present in return. Jonah and his friend definitely had a visit from the Halloween Witch. I am guessing that you are supposed to leave *candy from your trick-or-treating stash* on the porch and that this is a "clever" parent strategy to reduce candy-eating. Except that I don't think this is a problem that needs solving, *and* it's another make-believe figure that I have to deal with. (We do Santa, but not the Easter Bunny, fwiw. We'll probably do the tooth fairy. My kids also believe that leprechauns and other fairies exist and the former will turn your milk and/or other food items green on St. Patrick's Day. That one's the school's fault. Fairies, btw, are born from orchid blossoms.)

1a. April informed me that she would want the Halloween Witch to leave a merry-go-round in the back yard that she could ride any time she wanted. Points for ambition.

2. Ran across another "I see obese people feeding their kids crap at McDonald's all the time someone should stop Those People" comment the other day because they're kind of like houseflies that way. But this morning I realized that someone should pull the orgy defense on that kind of crap, i.e. the best defense against "I saw what you did at the orgy!" comments is to mildly inquire, "Oh really? And what were you doing there?" If you see people feeding crap to their kids at McDonald's all the time, well, why are you there so often?


Oooh, I like the orgy defense. That can be used for so many things.
Orgy defense FTW!
1a) I admit the Rube Goldberg in me now is trying to imagine how to build a collapsible Merry-Go-Round. So that maybe not "Any time shwe wanted", but "Within a Few Minutes." I imagine it as something like a maypole made of two umbrellas back-to-back, with two inflatable animals on it or something.

2) You're absolutely right.

When I told my cousin's small daughter that aunties were good for giving you presents that your parents wouldn't get you, and then asked her what she wanted for her birthday, her eyes lit up and she exclaimed "I want a horse!"

Then I had to explain that I couldn't afford to get her a horse, so instead she asked for purple unicorns, which are more easily obtainable than you might think.
At some age (4? 5?) Frank expressed to me that he was offended that other kids his age believed in Santa Claus, which he thought was a stupid th8ing to do as Santa Claus was obviously a story and why would you have to lie about it anyway, or believe in a lie?

I can't remember what it was I said exactly, but it was abiout how kids believed different things about the stories we tell, and how some people believe in this and oth4rs believe in that. . . and he announced he was going to choose the Tooth Fairy to believe in.

I had a little trouble wrapping my head around the controversy. I especially couldn't understand the people I knew who were admamant that their children had to believe in the various holiday myths because of something to do with innocence. I figured nobody got all up in arms about whether kids believe in a literal Big Bird -- some do, some don't, right? One of the people in my ECE class said it was because Big Bird doesn't come to your house. Somebody else said "Maybe Big Bird doesn't come to your house . . ."

My atheist Jewish grandmother thought the Easter Bunny was problematic so she invented the Easter Cowboy with me: he rode on a punkish-orange cat and brought cowboy-themed presents (largely crayons). Also, he was an actual boy, not a grownup.

I am still in love with this guy, and I tried him on with my kids, but they were not very charmed by him, so now I'm waiting for grandkids.

At my kid's school, the leprechauns make a huge mess and scatter glitter everywhere. I'm SO GLAD my kid thinks this means they should stay at school. I am also against adopting more made-up creatures that need appeasement.