Godzilla Kisses

Asking people to preemptively police their speech about any and all kink topics using the rubric of consent, and especially acting as if talking about a scene is the same as *doing* a scene, is uncomfortably close for me to the sorts of arguments that ask people to stay in the closet, please, we don't mind queers as long as they're not so *obvious* about it.

Not that I am so keen on the "everyone observing an actual scene must consent" standard, either (she said understatedly). But extending that to just talking about it, too? Alarm bells, big and loud.

I know I've said this before. I will keep saying it until my tongue falls out. It's that important.

(And while I'm here, I will note in passing the link to spoilers and triggers and all that good stuff that drives me up the wall, too. And reiterate a point someone else made in the place that inspired this post: it is always, always, always OK to say "I am uncomfortable with this conversation" or the equivalent. What is to be done after that point depends a lot on the particular circumstances. Context counts.)

The more time I spend on FetLife, the more I begin to revert to my idea that (despite any play or publishing or other professional or volunteer credits to the contrary) I'm not a member of the 'scene,' I just really like rough sex.

And spanking people.

And knives.

And...oh, forget it. But you know what I mean.

My job is such a learning experience!

For example, I just discovered that there is a chastity device called "Lori's Tube." (here, if you're curious.) No, it's not named after me! I just want to state that for the record...

Someday, I will work up enough dudgeon to launch a proper devastating critique of the term "alpha male" (and similar usages, including but not limited to "alpha female"). For now, though, I will just mention that if someone uses it as a descriptor of their role in BDSM, I immediately mentally chalk them off the list of people worthwhile talking to, much less playing with.

I just had a mini-meltdown at work over the capitalization preferences of certain BDSM practitioners.

Specifically:

a) The preference for Dom/sub versus Dom/Sub;

b) The fondness for constructions such as "W/we," "O/our," etc.

I finally just started ranting along these lines:

"Those uppity submissives should just stop asserting their independence and allow themselves to be subsumed under the capital letter of their Dominant, already!"

Yeah. OK. Maybe it's time for a break.

Someday, I am going to write a long essay on the trope of the vibrating egg in BDSM fiction. (That would be the egg-shaped insertable vibrator, remote-control-wise). They sure do make the women go weak-kneed in the stories I read. And all that without any direct clitoral stimulation at all!