Godzilla Kisses

Five Words.

2009-07-14T21:38:29Z

OK, I bit. maevele gave me five words. If you want to give me five words, too, you can do so below.

1. Twins!

With an exclamation point, for sure! Whenever anyone asks, I say that "I was planning for one, but I won the bonus round." Twins are a good reminder that you can only plan for so much, and it pays to be flexible. Right now, I am really pleased at the idea that they will never be lonely, and they will always have a playmate their age. It seems to have the potential to help balance out the isolating effects of the (semi-)nuclear family and our non-kid-oriented society. They will be each other's peers. It's also much fun to have such very different and individual daughters, growing up together.

2. Pervert

I waver on this one. I mean, if you talk to me, obviously I am one. But I think it was Steven who jokingly called me "post-leather" the other day, and he has a point. I may be a pervert, but I am not sure I am a member of "the leather community" any more. Don't get me wrong, they throw some nice parties and I'd like to meet their tailor. I do what I do, I am skilled at navigating issues of negotiation and consent, the images that delight me and turn me on are weird. Even sometimes to other perverts. Sometimes I think it's the laughing. But it's probably really the laughing combined with the hitting and poking and biting and...One thing that I am a little sad about is that I find it almost impossible to write down my actual turn-on stuff. Mostly it's disconnected images and things, see, and it just doesn't translate. So please don't read my writing looking for a key to my sexuality; you'll just get very confused.

3. Cooking

This morning someone walked into my kitchen, admired the cookbooks, and asked, "so who's the chef?" I was standing next to someone who's actually gone to culinary school, so I should have pointed to him. I am not a chef. I am a cook. I cherish my amateur status. That said, cooking is obviously my most passionate hobby. It's the thing I do with my body and my senses that keeps me grounded and present in my body, to counterbalance the all-in-my-head aspects of writing. Plus its rewards are concrete, and relatively immediate. P.S. I have found, to my surprise, that I prefer cooking for other people. Left to my own devices, I won't do it.

4. WisCon

I have been going to WisCon for a decade officially as of this past May. My friend Bill, who lives in Minneapolis and whom I met at Clarion, suggested it. I fell in love immediately. Eventually, I became assimilated into the concom hive mind and first ran the writer's workshop for a couple years, and then graduated to co-chairing programming for two more. I really loved it. I'd do it again except for, you know, #1 above. And they won't prevent me from possibly doing it again someday.

5. Babydanceparty

All one word! I have no idea how or why we started calling it Baby Dance Party. I just remember that, back in those already-hazy days of the first three months at home, G. and I would entertain ourselves and the babies by putting some music on -- usually a satellite radio station of some sort -- and wiggle the twins' arms and legs to the beat. It was a way of passing the time without going nutzo, and they seemed to like it. Now that they're older, they like to stand in their crib or playpen and 'dance," i.e. bounce up and down in time. I think that a room full of adults and kids dancing together would be utterly delightful for them, so that's the plan for their first birthday party: cake, balloons, and dancing in the living room. Baby Dance Party!

pantryslut @ 2009-07-13T14:53:00

2009-07-13T21:55:18Z

You know, this poster of the alphabet in French was really cute...right up until the very last letter.

:(

Your twin update

2009-07-13T21:29:10Z

The head-shaking thing with Simone has now become "the no-no game," with a classic call-and-response structure. She will shake her head, giggle, and then wait for an accommodating adult to imitate her. Repeat until everyone is dizzy and hysterical.

She also has a new word: "cat". It sounds a lot like "quack" but the vowel is different and so is the context. ("Quack" is another call-and-response game; "cat" is not.)

April, meanwhile, reinforces the mind/body dichotomy by trying to climb out of her crib and playpen at every opportunity. Remember, she can't walk yet. Not that that's stopping her. It's also funny to watch her flex her very visible abdominal muscles while on the changing table.

Your solid food updates have ceased because they're basically eating whatever I give them, and I am slowly transitioning toward feeding them whatever we're eating at the time (or leftovers). Very slowly, it will be admitted (but, thus the french fries). It makes them happier, though; I can see them covet whatever it is we're eating in front of them. Also, they are officially omnivores as of this afternoon -- apparently, chopped liver is very yummy. I can't disagree!

I am enjoying life at home with babies very much, if you can't tell.

pantryslut @ 2009-07-13T12:53:00

2009-07-13T19:55:13Z

P.S. Paged Media designed my website. I highly recommend them (well, her -- hi, Stephanie!).

pantryslut @ 2009-07-13T12:19:00

2009-07-13T19:21:15Z

I must admit I am very amused that so many of you took the opportunity to use the contact form on my shiny new web page to send me dirty messages yesterday. Sweet dirty messages, of course, because that's how you all are and that's why I like you.

At last!

2009-07-12T22:20:06Z

I can haz website!

"Press your lips against mine as they do on Earth."

2009-07-12T17:47:05Z

Aelita, Queen of Mars was all kinds of awesome. It left me giddy. The fashion! The earnest politics! Mars! Silent film acting! With extra eyeliner! The theremin! I am undone.

I Fail At Crunchy, Again

2009-07-11T22:53:25Z

The ladies say, "French fries are delicious!"

Also today: Simone and I devolve into a mutual giggle fit while shaking our heads at each other. Steven says, "stop teaching your daughter that saying 'no' is fun!" Too late. Like mother, like...

pantryslut @ 2009-07-10T09:00:00

2009-07-10T16:10:44Z

Relying on hand-me-downs for the last nine months has insulated me from the apparent fact that shopping for children's clothing is like reliving my childhood gender trauma one inch at a time. Last night I found myself muttering "I'd be gender appropriate if the boys didn't hog all the cool stuff!"* a lot...

*Like frogs and spaceships and sports and cars and monsters and pirates and dinosaurs! Giraffes, however, are apparently gender-neutral this season.

Participatory Music Post

2009-07-09T23:23:39Z

In honor of Simone boogying in my lap right now to "Lady Marmalade" (and singing "ya ya," I kid you not), I invite you, my readers, to name for me the most inappopriate yet strangely baby-friendly songs you can think of.

Birthday Date Verdict

2009-07-09T19:12:21Z

Karaoke: Friday, August 7, time TBA.
Aioli in the Garden: Saturday, August 15, noon.

If you can't make either of those events (or hate karaoke and can't make the garden party ;) ), but want to celebrate either of our birthdays some other way, just holler. Arrangements can be made.

Also, if you like planning ahead:

September 20: Steven's birthday, aka Brownies and Boardgames.
October 3 (tentative): Baby Birthday Dance Party!

If we get up the energy in the meantime, there should be some open garden grill afternoons somewhere in there, too.

pantryslut @ 2009-07-08T10:55:00

2009-07-08T17:56:08Z

I didn't know you all had such strong feelings about karaoke.

pantryslut @ 2009-07-07T14:38:00

2009-07-07T21:40:41Z

So, this year, G. and I have decided to hold a grand aioli party in our garden for our birthdays. What's a grand aioli party? Think of a big bowl of delicious homemade garlic mayo, plus platter upon platter of savory accompaniments. Plus the garden, of course. It should be a blast.

If I can only figure out which afternoon in August to hold it on...sort out conflicting events and who's in town and who's not and so on and so forth and now my head is spinning in indecisive little Leo circles.

Which is where you come in! Please vote below!

While I'm here, I'll also throw in a question about a corresponding karaoke night.

FWIW, our actual birthdays are August 7 and 11.

View Poll: Aioli In The Afternoon (and Karaoke too)

The Best-Laid Plans etc.

2009-07-06T22:18:42Z

Apropos of nothing except a pitch letter I am writing right now, I begin to think that my nonexistent nickname should be "Plan B." Not, please note, because I am anyone else's second choice or anything, but because I seem to be good at rolling with it when the goalposts suddenly shift. (Knock on wood.)

God Bless Summer

2009-07-06T00:09:27Z

After I cook dinner, I will have four strips of uncooked bacon left over in the fridge. And we're just starting to get tomatoes in the box regularly now.

You can guess where this is going, yes?

pantryslut @ 2009-07-03T16:26:00

2009-07-03T23:28:46Z

Midori just wrote a very perceptive review of Goliath's Best of Bondage art book, pointing out that all the models are women, and all but one of the photographers, men -- and what that means about the state of the art of bondage photography in general.

~~I apparently can't link directly, but it's currently the top post at her blog.~~ Direct link here.

pantryslut @ 2009-07-03T16:08:00

2009-07-03T23:12:46Z

Really, I should just become an event planner for someone. I already do so much of it "in my spare time." And you know, I'm good at it, too.

The Relish Plate

2009-07-02T18:18:51Z

The thing I wanted to say about the relish plate is just that I didn't realize until very recently that it's apparently a regional thing. It's just what we always did before fancy dinners (like, say, Thanksgiving) -- a plate of pickled things and radishes and such to tide you over at the begging of the meal, appetizer-style. But I guess that this is a very Old Midwestern Farmhouse sort of presentation. Who knew?

short note re: Karl Malden, RIP

2009-07-01T23:12:56Z

It's a bit of a comfort to have a celebrity pass on this week at the age of 97.

But Before That!

2009-07-01T22:14:06Z

Saturday, July 18, 2009
San Francisco in Exile presents:

We Are Who We Say We Are!:
an evening of erotic performance by performers of color
7 pm doors, 7:30 pm show
Center for Sex & Culture, 1519 Mission Street, San Francisco
$10-20 sliding scale, no one turned away

Step back y’all and listen up!

SFinX is bringing together a variety of fabulous performers to expose you to their thoughts on sexual identity. You’ll see storytelling of all types in a night that’s sure to stimulate, shock, and satisfy.

So please leave your children under 18 at home and bring your body, mind, and soul to the Center for Sex and Culture for an evening of fine funky entertainment curated by Mr. Marlo Gayle.

Blake C. Aarens
Tina D'Elia
StormMiguel Florez
Marlo Gayle
Lola Vauntz
Fresh! White

Mark Your Calendar.

2009-07-01T20:39:54Z

PERVERTS PUT OUT!

Perverts Put Out!, San Francisco's long-running pansexual performance series, is rearing its swollen head yet again. The next PPO, on Saturday, July 25th, will be the traditional pre-Dore edition, celebrating in word and deed San Francisco's kinkiest, most hardcore street event, the Up Your Alley Fair. Performers will include Greta Christina, Jeff Stroker, Thomas Roche, horehound stillpoint, Steven Schwartz, Hew Wolff, emcees Carol Queen and Simon Sheppard, and more!

Saturday, July 25
7:30 pm
CounterPulse
1310 Mission Street, San Francisco
$10-15 sliding scale, no-one turned away for lack of funds.

(Please feel free to forward and/or repost. Keep track of this and other shows at http://www.simonsheppard.com/pervertsputout.html ).

pantryslut @ 2009-06-30T23:39:00

2009-07-01T06:46:53Z

(for cindymonkey, edited slightly)

a) Turn on your MP3 player or music player on your computer.
b) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode.
c) Write down the first 25 songs that come up--song title and artist--NO editing/cheating, please.
d) Tag or don't tag, as you wish.

1. My Man Blues, Sara Martin
2. Cloud Nine, Me'shell Ndegeocello
3. I Can't Let Go, Evie Sands
4. I Used To Say I Love You, Robyn Hitchcock
5. It's Been A Long, Long Time, Peggy Lee
6. Green Light, The Detroit Cobras
7. Cloak of Frogs, Freakwater
8. Mademoiselle Kitt, Eartha Kitt
9. The Knowledge, Janet Jackson
10. Untouchable Part 1, Princess Superstar
11. Don't Mess With Bill, The Marvelettes
12. Tsunami, Res
13. Man-Size, PJ Harvey
14. Sing Me Back Home, Edith Frost
15. What's The Use of Wond'rin, Amanda Palmer
16. Lowlands Away, Rufus Wainwright and Kate McGarrigle
17. Duke of Earl, Gene Chandler
18. California Uber Alles, Disposable Heroes of Hiphopracy
19. Fried Chicken, The Marylanders
20. Jazz Lips, Louis Armstrong
21. The Snakes Crawl at Night, Janet Bean
22. Baby Don't Do It, The 5 Royales
23. Lovable, Sam Cooke
24. Baby I'm For Real, The Originals
25. Missing the Boat, Pink Nasty

First Words

2009-06-30T17:00:25Z

Simone unofficially has two words now.*

The first is "Hi." Complete with handwave. She is very enthusiastic about this word (and accompanying sign) and will share it with everyone, especially strangers.

The second is "Quack."

I have no idea who taught her the latter. It it wasn't so clearly a word, I'd just dismiss it.

Quack!

* Officially, she's too young and I don't mean to brag.

cute kitten PSA

2009-06-30T05:54:55Z

Anybody looking for a kitten?

He's really cute. And in the East Bay.

Details here.

Future Pride Plans

2009-06-29T21:44:40Z

We considered marching in the Pride March this year, but determined that it was going to be too long a day for April and Simone. But you betcha me and the ladies will be marching together come some Dyke March soon. Maybe even as early as next year.