Godzilla Kisses

pantryslut @ 2008-07-18T13:11:00

2008-07-18T20:11:12Z

For folks like borggrrl and fd_midori, via tyrannio (thanks!):

Octopi with extra tentacles. Really cool photos follow.

So Let's Change The Subject.

2008-07-18T19:45:51Z

The Watchmen trailer: very intriguing. It certainly looks right, doesn't it? I am suspicious enough to hold my judgment until I see some actual acting, however. And I confess that the words "From the visionary director of 300" did not exactly have their intended effect on me.

Tips for Trolls

2008-07-18T16:22:47Z

...and then I'm moving on with my life.

1. Insulting me by calling me "fat" is lazy, tired, and absolutely the number one most ineffectual way to hurt my feelings, ever. Believe it or not, I've noticed that I'm fat. I know that the hard part is believing that I don't mind...

...or, in this context, that I get laid plenty regularly anyway, and by a multitude of partners (of many genders). Oh well. If your reality is too narrow to accept that notion, that's not my problem.

2. Calling my writing credentials into question is the number two most ineffectual way to hurt my feelings. Ten years plus of freelancing might have something to do with that.

3. Calling my writing credentials into question when it is blazingly obvious you didn't even bother to do the thirty seconds of research needed to find said credentials is even more ineffectual. 'Scuse me for not using my LJ presence as a self-promotion tool, but it's not what I'm here for. If you want the info for any other reason than to insult me further, it's easily enough found.

4. Calling me a coward b/c I don't go trolling in other people's blogs and journals, and yet feel entitled to link and comment from my own -- well, at least it's a new one. But the Blog Police are going to be really busy if you insist on issuing citations over this particular issue.

5. Thank you for reminding me how very touchy people can be about gender issues. Speaking of police, I still have a book of tickets from the Gender Police stunt we pulled at the Dyke March a couple years ago. Maybe I should go give myself one, b/c it's pretty obvious to me that's essentially what I'm being called out for. (Your Perception May Vary.)

pantryslut @ 2008-07-17T16:06:00

2008-07-17T23:04:13Z

IHNJH,IJLTS:

"stiffle."

Yeah, I hear that some people get that way around me. What can I say, I'm just that hawt! ;)

pantryslut @ 2008-07-17T12:43:00

2008-07-17T19:42:53Z

Just gag me now. (Someone dishes out the same ol' same ol' on the supposed differences between sex with men and sex with women. Shit like this is what makes me feel suddenly very, profoundly genderqueer, 'cuz, um, no.)

What was that about lounging on the couch eating bonbons?

2008-07-17T16:12:44Z

Next week, the first week of my maternity leave, is booked. Solid. Into the weekend.

But hey, the week after that, all I have so far are doctor's appointments!

pantryslut @ 2008-07-16T15:48:00

2008-07-16T22:45:37Z

T minus two days, approximately a half hour, and counting.

You're The Reason We Can't Have Any Nice Things.

2008-07-15T20:13:33Z

I could use a vacation from cats with eliminatory quirks, thank you.

For a few months, Fritzi has been occasionally taking a shit in the middle of our hall. It seems to correlate loosely with either territorial disputes with Coaltrain, my overnight absence, or a dirty litterbox. It's annoying, but manageable. Most of the time. (Hardwood floors help.) But it wears.

And then, this morning.

Nadine has a compulsion to pee on bath mats. We've known this for years, and always hang up our mat or towel or whatever we're using to prevent her from using it. This technique has worked well enough through three different households.

Until this morning. I put the mat down when I started my shower; she waited until I was just about ready to step out onto it to use it as her litterbox alternative. Fortunately I caught her just before I stepped into a puddle of warm cat pee. But after she'd soiled the mat, possibly irrevocably. We'll see when it comes out of the washer this evening.

pantryslut @ 2008-07-14T11:04:00

2008-07-14T18:02:57Z

P.S. many, many thanks to folks who sent along their baby gear suggestions. You folks have been more helpful than you know.

By Request: The Registry!

2008-07-14T16:38:01Z

Here is my baby registry. I'm still adding things to it here and there, but I think it's more or less ready for prime time at this point.

A few notes:

* Please don't feel compelled to buy me anything from this list, or anything at all.
* Please feel free to buy me things that are not on this list.
* Please feel free to offer services, gift certificates, cash, companionship, etc. instead.
* Please do not feel bound to shop at the merchants mentioned. If you find the same item elsewhere and want to get it for me, buy it at the elsewhere place if that's your preference. (But don't forget to check it off on the registry anyway if you do!)
* Please feel free to ask questions and make suggestions.

Have at it and enjoy!

Spam Poem of the Day

2008-07-14T15:28:11Z

Gigantic snake between your legs
Have you ever considered currency trading?

Ow.

2008-07-14T02:15:04Z

The left side of my back has been cramping up off and on all weekend. Hot pads and tepid baths and such seem to help a lot, fortunately. And I've had some lovely social time with various folks despite it.

Here's hoping it's a passing thing as my body adjusts to some new configuration.

*

In an attempt to keep limber and supple and active and all that, I took a walk around my neighborhood today. I just want to state for the record that we have the friendliest neighborhood cats I have ever met. I felt a little like the feline Pied Piper at times.

*

More soon.

pantryslut @ 2008-07-11T10:06:00

2008-07-11T17:05:50Z

I wish I could participate properly in Post a Rejection Letter Day (link via ktempest), but I don't really have any on file, here (at the office) or elsewhere. Nor do I have any that were colorful enough to commit to memory. I did once get a scribbled note at the bottom of a rejection slip from Poetry that said "we look forward to seeing more of your work," but that's just bragging. Or, well, it would be if I'd ever gotten published in Poetry, I guess.

pantryslut @ 2008-07-10T12:17:00

2008-07-10T19:17:41Z

My job is such a learning experience!

For example, I just discovered that there is a chastity device called "Lori's Tube." (here, if you're curious.) No, it's not named after me! I just want to state that for the record...

pantryslut @ 2008-07-10T09:10:00

2008-07-10T16:18:13Z

1. Paperwork! Doctor's appointments (not all of them prenatal -- I still have orthodontics, and an eye appointment to make, and I should really call my podiatrist...)!

2. Too many film festivals!

3. Wasn't life supposed to slow down after Pride?

just btw...

2008-07-09T15:57:24Z

What G. said.

Baby Gear Head

2008-07-08T16:15:04Z

Dear Many Moms (and Other Caretakers) on My Friend's List,

I am trying to pull together a baby registry for the many nice people who keep asking after it. (It's also functioning as a general shopping list reminder for me.) I've made some progress, but I think now, I could use some advice. Some advice from real people that I know, who are not middle-class heterosexual women who drive cars, if you know what I mean.

What kind of baby gear should I be buying and/or asking for from folks? What did you find helpful to have around?

What should I absolutely put on my registry? What isn't necessary, but would be nice to ask for (and/or obtain for myself)? What might be a useful and appreciated luxury?

I am totally torn between my frugal and minimalist tendencies, and the fact that, duh, this is a registry, it's a *list* for people who want to *give me things*, playing "I don't really need that" is not actually necessarily helpful.

Anyway.

Materialism. Lay it on me. Thanks!

pantryslut @ 2008-07-07T12:26:00

2008-07-07T19:27:49Z

I have the day off.

I have the day off mostly because I work so far away from my various medical appointments, that if I have an appointment, there's no point in going in to work that day, timing-wise.

The weekend was lovely, and involved much outdoor time in various venues, and also fabulous food, and delightful company.

It needed better movies, though. And maybe a different shortcake (biscuit) recipe.

Also:

I have discovered that standing too long at, say, the kitchen counter, now hurts my lower back. Foo. I am looking into investing in a kitchen stool.

I am prone to hiccups now. Not fits, just random single hiccups. It's kind of cute.

My ankles are starting to retain water in a noticeable and sometimes uncomfortable way. (When the fucking Birkenstocks I wear around the house start to leave marks on my feet...)

And finally, the season of tomato cheddar sandwiches has begun!

pantryslut @ 2008-07-03T14:59:00

2008-07-03T21:57:42Z

I have found my soon-to-be-new motto in the acknowledgements section of the book I am currently reading:

"But I wasn't procrastinating. I was parenting."

pantryslut @ 2008-07-03T10:52:00

2008-07-03T17:58:16Z

1. Yesterday, I learned that "picnic hams" are made from the foreleg of the pig -- as opposed to bigger, more traditional hams, which are from the back leg. Picnic hams are just my size. I wish they were more common.

2. I also completed a writing milestone yesterday. I am still shy about it, but excited.

3. Four-day weekend.

pantryslut @ 2008-07-02T10:46:00

2008-07-02T17:50:30Z

1. It is official -- I am going on my pregnancy leave in a little less than three weeks; my last day at work is July 18. After that, I will have a lot of free time that I'm not entirely sure what to do with, yet. Other than, you know, crack open my prenatal yoga DVDs and maybe spend some quality time with the weight bench. If you're free during the day for tea dates and such, though, do let me know.

2. I think I am now officially feeling movement in my belly -- little fluttery sensations. Also, I think the twins have found my bladder and are practicing their tap-dancing.

3. My knees and the hardwood floor (not to mention the shale tile in the kitchen) do not get along at the moment. Water retention makes them feel bruised, I think. Squatting is easier (!)

4. One corny pregnancy thing I do: I sing to them. We're gonna have regular dance sessions once I'm on leave, too. No Mozart, though. I am boycotting Mozart on principle.

5. If you want to suggest music for prenatal dancing and singing, feel free to do so below. Mix CDs also accepted if you feel motivated that way.

My milk jug brings all the graduate students to the yard...

2008-07-01T16:07:22Z

So, for much of my life, starting in adolescence, I have been challenged to find a way to describe what my mother does for a living. My mother, for the record, is a Professor of Packaging at Michigan State University (and also interim director of the School of Packaging, if I recall correctly).

In other words, this is what my mother does for a living -- she teaches the people who get hired to redesign milk jugs for more cost-effective shipping and storage. Yup.

P.S. The first research project of my mother's that I really gained any familiarity with was on the recyclability of the plastic used in milk jugs.

P.P.S. thanks to imnotandrei for the link.

pantryslut @ 2008-06-30T12:54:00

2008-06-30T19:53:20Z

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sex writer around who was not particularly impressed with Swingtown. The ham-handed musical cue at the end of the episode I caught did not help matters, I'm afraid.

dreams and memories

2008-06-30T16:48:35Z

1. Dreams last night of fresh paint on my clothes, and of people falling into bottomless crevasses. Repeatedly.

2a. One of the reasons I have been thinking a lot about memoir these past few days is that last year, I wrote a grant proposal to the National Queer Arts Festival to curate a show that would have been called "My Butch Body." The NQAF suggested at some point that I develop it as a solo performance instead, and came >this close< to giving me $ and a performance space to do it in. They are still encouraging me to do it for a future year.

The prospect kinda terrifies me. *My* body? And only my body? And no multiplicity of voices to let you all know that, dudes, butch bodies are diverse as fuck?

And what is there to say about *my* body in that context, anyway, that's worth more than, say, ten minutes of your time?

Yeah. Like that. And even though the point has been moot for months, I worry at it like a bad tooth. Attraction/repulsion. I hear good art can come out of that sort of dynamic. And now, as the NQAF starts soliciting grants for next year, the point is no longer moot again, and I have all these fabulous inspiring performances dancing in my head, too. So that's kinda where I am and where I'm coming from.

2b. I think some of my resistance to memoir is also that it's too linear in its Platonic form. When I break out of that and start organizing material thematically (see above), it becomes more interesting and appealing. Still a challenge, still not my preferred mode, but suddenly, possibilities open up and ennui falls away.

3. Meanwhile, I still have another project to finish. I think this week, or next.

Pride Is Over And I Need A Haircut

2008-06-30T16:20:49Z

I've seen people proclaiming themselves Bad Queers for missing various parts of Pride this year. If so, then I am a Bad Queer. I don't feel bad, though. I feel like I was taking care of myself. Running errands, hanging out. Much as I love the Dyke and Trans Marches, I don't think I could have taken the heat and the standing around and the crowds this year. My feet hurt just thinking about it. I know, this bodes ill for Dore and Folsom, too. Oh well.

For the record, I liked Juno a lot after all. It's got its problems as a text, sure, but as entertainment, it's a win. My youngest sister Emma is now allowed to recommend movies to me any time she wants.

I also made a very yummy fruit salad with the first melon of the year (a Galia), strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, peaches, a little maple sugar and a little orange flower water (just a drop or two!), plus a big handful of peppermint and spearmint from the porch. And I still have lots of peaches and strawberries in the fridge.

Now I am concentrating on nailing down the details of my leave at work, nailing down some appointments (thus the haircut), and organizing some parties in August. Also, I am watching a baseball game tonight.