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In other news

* I hate thinking about how to list my education on job applications. For the same reason that this info is not on my FB page (no, it's not privacy concerns). I think I am extra-touchy about it all right now because, well, where did I meet Steven again? That's right. Can we pretend those two years just didn't exist? Not while I can still read Cyrillic, I suspect. Oh well.

* Besides, they were very nice years actually. They just ended poorly. (I sense a theme.)

* I am actually not writing so many f-locked posts. I am writing many private ones, though. I guess I am feeling even more shy and tender than I thought. I like to look all considered and composed and reflective. And I think instead I sound bitter and/or stupid. (See above for an example.)

* I could probably use a therapist soon, just to have someone to talk to and sort out these feelings with. So that I don't *actually* become bitter. I am not looking yet but should you happen to have a rec, I'll take it.

* Because I'm not actually bitter, I don't think. But I'm not all better. And also we are still in a slow descent downhill into ending up in my parents' basement or something.

* I will be substantially better when I find a job!

* Today on the bus, someone tapped me on the shoulder and immediately started asking for advice on her back pain. Had I ever had back pain? Just awakened in the morning and pow, back pain? Was it related to her period starting, maybe? Especially if it was extra-heavy? Even though the pain was in her upper back, though? Should she see a doctor? (She should see a doctor.) I am not the kind of person who usually gets solicited for medical advice on the bus. I hope she feels better soon.

* Off to make some administrative progress on my change of marital status now.

Comments

I understand keeping that stuff private because it's hard to predict empathy on such topics, even from people you'd think would understand. Especially in text, where there's none of the nuance, tone or personal feedback to stop someone who is trying to be sympathetic from saying that one thing which actually sounds super-judgmental.
Yes, you hit the nail on the head.
I have therapist recs. Beth Bernstein of Psyche Collective, for one - she's just down the hill from us. Or any of her office-mates. Or Sand Chang who I think is on Piedmont Ave.
Oh good! I don't know either of them! That's half the battle. Thanks.
Bitter vitriol pretty much carried me through several shitty events and their equally shitty aftermath, but your mileage may vary.

I hear you on the good being tangled up with the bad (if I understood the first paragraph as intended).
You read the first paragraph more or less as intended; I forget that most folks don't know my exciting! educational history. I enrolled at the University of Chicago and left after two years because they bait-and-switched me on financial aid. I finished at my hometown school, Michigan State. Which I feel tremendous hometown pride about. Nonetheless , I am (still) bitter about the bait and switch, and also, specifically in a job context, I fret that people will think that I quit the "smart" school b/c it was too hard and chose the easy road instead. But if I don't list it and they ask for the dates I attended MSU, my schooling looks strangely truncated.

My whole experience at U of C was educational in many, many respects. Some very good, some very...educational.


Edited at 2014-01-16 04:02 am (UTC)
From a selfish point of view, I'm very happy you passed through Hyde Park and I could get to know you.
I am very happy about that part too. But we met after I graduated, correct? No problem :) I'm all over "I lived in Chicago for many years."
You're right, I didn't meet you until after you graduated.
Wax frogs are safe from historical revisionism.
I think bitterness is allowed, even necessary, for a while after such major disappointments (to put it mildly). Try to go easy on yourself.
Oh, I don't mind *feeling* bitter, that seems natural. I mind *sounding* bitter. I guess I'm a little vain that way. (You're right, though, I think sounding bitter is allowed too.)
hey, i'm glad you spent time in chicago! and i think that people understand that there are tons of reasons why people have to switch schools and that reasons for picking ones that are closer to home are frequently financially motivated. (i have mercifully forgotten the name of the college that screwed my sister over so that she wound up completing her degree at cleveland state.)